I couldn't believe it. But I meant every word I said to her. The "If you want this boy, I would let you have him, if it means you love him more than you do me." was completely, 100% true. I would be anything she needed. A protector, a lover, a friend.
A friend.
But I didn't want to just be her _friend!_ I loved her, much more than I loved Bella. Much more than Edward loves Bella. More than Paul loves Rachel. I love her more than my own life. I would die for Renesmee, but if I could help it, I'd choose to stay alive to continue protecting her.
"Hey, Jake. What's the matter?" Quil Ateara, my best friend, asked me.
"Nothing." I said. I was sitting out in the woods on a hill. I was curled up with my hands wrapped around my bent legs.
"It sure as hell doesn't look like 'nothing.' What's got your wolf?" Quil asked, again, with an attempt at humor.
I sighed. "Quil--have you ever thought about--" I stopped, and took deep breaths. I didn't want to go wolf right now. "Have you ever thought about what you would do when Claire is older, if she fell in love with someone else?"
His mouth dropped open. "Jake, is this about Nessie?"
I took in a deep breath, but it didn't work. That's when I started to cry. Like, _bawl._ My shoulders shook and tears fell from my eyes like I was the frickin' Niagra Falls. I cried harder than when I thought Bella was dead. I cried harder than when my mom died.
Quil knelt down beside me, patting my back. He didn't say anything. But there was nothing he could say. This was hell.
"Jake?" I looked up to where the voice came from. It was Leah. The second-to-last person I wanted to see. "Can I talk to you?"
Quil came to my defense. "Leah! Can't you see he's kind of busy right now?" Then things got weird. Like, mouse-in-a-water-sprinkler-helmet-riding-around-on-a-piece-of-cheese-built-like-a-bike weird. Leah sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder and started crying as well. Quil backed away slowly.
"He's in love with Renesmee!" was all Leah said. I put my arm around Leah's shoulders and rubbed her back while she cried. It was too much for us. Sam imprinted on her second cousin, so she had to have a painful breakup with him. Bella friendzoned me, and then married the man I _hated._ Now her imprintee was in love with my imprintee, who might like him back.
We lived in a cruel, cruel world.
A friend.
But I didn't want to just be her _friend!_ I loved her, much more than I loved Bella. Much more than Edward loves Bella. More than Paul loves Rachel. I love her more than my own life. I would die for Renesmee, but if I could help it, I'd choose to stay alive to continue protecting her.
"Hey, Jake. What's the matter?" Quil Ateara, my best friend, asked me.
"Nothing." I said. I was sitting out in the woods on a hill. I was curled up with my hands wrapped around my bent legs.
"It sure as hell doesn't look like 'nothing.' What's got your wolf?" Quil asked, again, with an attempt at humor.
I sighed. "Quil--have you ever thought about--" I stopped, and took deep breaths. I didn't want to go wolf right now. "Have you ever thought about what you would do when Claire is older, if she fell in love with someone else?"
His mouth dropped open. "Jake, is this about Nessie?"
I took in a deep breath, but it didn't work. That's when I started to cry. Like, _bawl._ My shoulders shook and tears fell from my eyes like I was the frickin' Niagra Falls. I cried harder than when I thought Bella was dead. I cried harder than when my mom died.
Quil knelt down beside me, patting my back. He didn't say anything. But there was nothing he could say. This was hell.
"Jake?" I looked up to where the voice came from. It was Leah. The second-to-last person I wanted to see. "Can I talk to you?"
Quil came to my defense. "Leah! Can't you see he's kind of busy right now?" Then things got weird. Like, mouse-in-a-water-sprinkler-helmet-riding-around-on-a-piece-of-cheese-built-like-a-bike weird. Leah sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder and started crying as well. Quil backed away slowly.
"He's in love with Renesmee!" was all Leah said. I put my arm around Leah's shoulders and rubbed her back while she cried. It was too much for us. Sam imprinted on her second cousin, so she had to have a painful breakup with him. Bella friendzoned me, and then married the man I _hated._ Now her imprintee was in love with my imprintee, who might like him back.
We lived in a cruel, cruel world.